Saturday, January 10, 2009

To Durian or Not To Durian ....


... that is the question.

I have a great cost-saving idea for the Indonesian government, in these tough economic times. Get rid of all customs personnel at the ports, borders and airports, and replace them all with a solid wall of durian. Any non-Indonesians will be automatically repelled!

For the unfamiliar, durian is a unique, spiky fruit which looks like a pineapple gone mad. It's got an inside that's kind of squishy, kind of sweet, and kind of garlicky. As a Canadian brought up on maple syrup and salmon jerky, I never acquired the taste, and in fact I'd like to see all durian tossed into the fiery pits of hell.

But many folks swear by the singular charms of durian, even distilling the flavor into ice cream. Perhaps one day I'll understand the logic, and become a true son of the islands. But until then, I hope the government takes me up on my suggestion, and gives me 10% of their cost savings. Direct into my checking account, if you please.


Today's Top Stories

New Obama intelligence chief has Indonesia ties
Dennis Blair pushed for improved relations after East Timor debacle

Finance Minister praised by Newsweek
Sri Mulyani Indrawati profiled for sidestepping recession

Support for Islamic terrorism falls
Events like Bali bombings horrified public

Indonesia and France push for Gaza accord
SBY and Sarkozy teaming up

7 comments:

tikno said...

Durian is a seasonal fruit. In Borneo Island, there is yellow durian fruit.

Alaksir said...

If nobody can't yet convince you about the deliciousness of this fruit, probably trying out the "durian gajah," or the elephant's durian could turn you into a believer. This is the kind of durian that is swallowed in whole by an elephant, and after being ripened (and probably hormonally treated) through the animal's digestive system, is secreted out along with its feces. The resulting fruit is delicious beyond description..:) Too bad it's not as easy to come by as the luwak coffee, which has a similar story with this type of durian, since elephants are becoming increasingly rare in the country. Btw, thanks for linking back to me..!

the writer said...

"Pineapple gone mad": You're cracking me up on this one. Many people (who have never seen, touched, smelled durian before tend to think that it stinks like hell - but I prefer to think that durian smells like cheap parfume instead of rotten garbage :D

Christopher Taylor said...

Wow, I can't believe that elephant story ... perhaps the grossest thing I've ever heard ... erasing that mental image will take many, many years!

Alaksir said...

Hey the story is actually true :) Anyway, on your idea of guarding our entry points with durian walls, somebody in the Philippines probably had thought of something similar when they built this. That's really one big durian they're putting up there.

Christopher Taylor said...

Let's pass some rambutan through the bowels of an elephant and see what happens! :)

Therry said...

Durian is yummy, what are you talking about! LOL.

@Alaksir:

Damn, that's a huge-ass durian right there!